I'm just jumping in where I am, you know? The bits and pieces will fill in as I go. My current "diet" is a no-diet--its drawn from Smart Technique, Paul McKenna, and How Much Does Your Soul Weigh.

The idea: DIETING DOESN'T WORK

To summarize, eat what you want, listen to your body, and deprogram the cultural brain washing that tells us to SUPER SIZE everything.

I've done Smart Technique and HMDYSW before--and they both worked. I just started watching I Can Make You Thin and I decided to give it a try again.

I just lost 56 pounds on a calorie controlled, extremely low carb, and controlled fat approach. This way of eating has the greatest metabolic advantage in losing weight. Low fat will work as will low calorie--but there is a metabolic advantage to losing the weight low carb, meaning, you will lose it a little faster, and is slightly better for your health, if done properly.

But I am pregnant again--and instantly gained 17 pounds and I'm not even as many weeks along (I'm currently 16.5 weeks.) Not good for me, not good for baby. I struggle with nausea and vomiting (and of course, no, THAT doesn't make me lose weight!)--so eating low carb was incredibly challenging as meat is very unappetizing as is anything fatty. Carbohydrates make me feel better, almost instantly.

So how to balance the introduction of carbs? I was controlling calories which was irritating and miserable. I resent it.

So Paul McKenna introduced me to a technique I'd tried before. Overeating is a learned behavior. It can be unlearned. Overeating is relative to your body and metabolic rate. If you are overweight you are overeating FOR YOUR BODY. It really is that simple. (I'm not talking 10 or 15 lbs over your supermodel ideal, I'm talking about OBESE or MORBIDLY OBESE.) At 5'6", large frame, high muscle to fat ratio, I should not weigh more than 155 or 160 lbs. I currently weigh 70 lbs over that.

Right now I'm focusing on EATING CONSCIOUSLY. I am surprised to find that eating small portions is very easy. I'm eating about 1/4th of what I normally eat while pregnant and I'm feeling energetic, full, and satisfied. No deprivation. I eat WHAT I WANT (as per McKenna's instructions) and WHAT I WANT is changing.

Eating consciously is surprisingly difficult for me. I find it next to impossible to sit down and eat and focus on nothing else. My mind wanders. I immediately "leave myself" so to speak. I'm desperate to eat in front of the tv, while reading, while talking on the phone, while talking to someone. Forced into conscious eating, I find myself "zoning out"--I was actually planning this blog while I was eating a little cottage cheese and pineapple before. (Yes that is something I actually choose to eat while NOT on a diet. I'm weird like that but I love it.)

There are two things at work for me here---BOREDOM and LONELINESS. I always denied being an emotional eater. I don't eat when angry or sad, I thought. Ah, but what I do is EAT TO ESCAPE. It's an accompaniment to other forms of escape. How to conquer this? I don't know. Here goes nothing on that account.

I can't believe how well this works. I remember saying that with Smart Technique and again with HMDYSW. Why did I forget?