Thoughts on Eating a Cookie

Being that we are to savor every bite, I only buy the best cookies. I have one cookie that makes me very nostalgic. Actually I have several cookies that make me nostalgic, but I'm talking about a specific cookie, here: McVities Milk Chocolate Digestive Biscuits. I lived in England whilst I was a teenager and these were the most delicious biscuits to have with your tea. Sweet wheatmeal biscuits coated with a rich chocolate on one side. Very yummy dipped in your tea, long enough to melt the chocolate a bit.

Then when Dr. Junky and I got married, we honeymooned in Wales. I was happy to introduce him to some of my British faves, like back bacon and cheese and onion potato crisps, ploughman's lunch, and McVities. So we spent every morning up early together, working on a jigsaw puzzle, drinking tea and dipping our McVities.

So I have a lot of pleasant memories associated with McVities. (And now that I'm writing on it, I must never have one without a cup of tea, again!)

I took a writing break to go to the bathroom and I decided to have a McVities on my way back since I was feeling, "Slightly Hungry," a number 4 on the Hunger Scale. My usual plan of attack would be to rush off to the bathroom, grab a cookie on the way back and, without stopping, gobble the entire cookie on my way back to the computer.

I stopped and sat down and chewed the cookie. And I discovered that:

1) I find it very lonely to sit and eat by myself.

2) I find it unbelievably BORING to eat by myself--I was actually reading the label on a cereal box. Normally I'd read a book or a newspaper or watch tv but this is to be avoided now. This led to the idea that:

3) I need to escape the reality of eating--maybe because I feel guilt about eating because of my size?

4) I resist the restoration and rest that would come from taking a break to have a cookie and a cup of tea. Is this why I'm so mentally exhausted in the evenings?