Two Victories

I watched an episode of I Can Make You Thin where Paul McKenna works with people on their cravings. I don't really have cravings per se. I don't think about a particular food obsessively. I get in the "mood" to have a particular food or flavor but it is not overwhelming.

What I do find difficult is not eating everything on my plate. This is where I'm using some of his craving busting techniques. Not every time I eat but sometimes, usually with foods that are particularly savory or flavorful, or full of carbs, like bread and pasta, I find myself almost unable to put the fork down and stop even when I know I'm no longer hungry or even full bordering on bloated. It's like I don't want to stop the flavor and I don't want to stop feeling the filling up feeling.

It happened last night with a piece of chocolate. It is odd--often, I'm able to eat a small piece of chocolate and leave it alone with no problem. But occasionally I'm eating a little square and then I'm dying to eat the whole bar. That happened last night out of nowhere. I didn't eat the whole bar but I ate more than I wanted, planned, or needed to.

I always find pizza this compelling. Always. I've NEVER stopped at one or two slices and felt, yeah, I don't really want anymore. I HAVE stopped at one or two slices but only with extreme willpower and RESENTMENT.

Today I was finding this with my lunch. I had left over Thai Beef Curry that I made with a Trader Joe's sauce. I wrapped it in a slice of lavash bread. I also put a little homemade macaroni salad on the plate because I've found that I like to have several different flavors and textures at a meal. When I have variety I find it very easy to be satisfied on much less.

I reached a point very early in the meal, about four or five bites in where I knew I was full. I didn't need anymore. But I could not stop. So I stood up and went to the computer and played a word game, telling myself that if I was still hungry at the end of the game, I'd eat more. The game is 3 minutes long. Of course, I was not, and I dumped it in the garbage. Victory.

I reach the point where I CAN eat more but don't NEED to. I find that a difficult place to be in.

I started to put the macaroni salad away and I felt a compulsion to have a bite. I had two conscious bites and then I used the negative visualization technique and I was done. Victory #2.
I can't wait to try pizza and see if I can find Victory against my biggest foe.